New York, 1909

Compiled by Jason Morningstar

Only seven of these people are not real.

Famous People You Might Bump Into at Delmonico’s

  1. William Howard Taft, President of the United States
  2. Ulrich Von Brockdorff-Rantzau, diplomat
  3. Franz Josef, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary
  4. John Eyre Sloan, high society birdman
  5. William Ramsay, celebrated scientist
  6. Major Smedley D. Butler, United States Marine Corps
  7. Patience Ramsey, dilettante and aviatrix
  8. Madeleine Edison, headstrong damsel and daughter of the great inventor
  9. Thomas Alva Edison, inventor and entrepreneur
  10. Louis Bleriot, French aviator and engineer
  11. Lt. Chester William Nimitz, naval officer
  12. Erich ’Harry Houdini’ Weiss, entertainer
  13. Theodore ’Teddy’ Roosevelt, former President
  14. Wellington Koo, diplomat
  15. William J. Gaynor, Mayor of New York
  16. Cyrus Oppenheimer, business magnate
  17. August Belmont, industrialist
  18. Lt George S. Patton, Jr., cavalry officer, United States Army
  19. Lincoln Beachey, Daredevil birdman
  20. Harriet Quimby, Fetching purple-jumpsuited aviatrix

Random Interesting People You Might Meet in Madison Square Garden

  1. Dan Ling, Chinese laundryman
  2. Karl Von Brockdorff-Rantzau, scientist
  3. Dragutan Dimitrijevic, Austro-Hungarian spy
  4. Charles Becker, NYPD Lieutenant
  5. Tatjana Subacic, mysterious beauty
  6. John Daughtry, Pinkerton agent
  7. Fritz Haber, dodgy Teutonic chemist
  8. Ching Ling-Foo, entertainer
  9. Kim Tau, apothecary assistant
  10. Dennis Bell, laborer and Medal of Honor winner
  11. Jim Thorpe, athlete and Carleton College student
  12. Pete Hummel, NYPD beat cop
  13. Iva Miller, Carleton College co-ed
  14. Captain Hiram Jerome, officer, United States Marine Corps
  15. Countess Markievicz, militant Irish nationalist
  16. Claire O’Leary, homemaker
  17. Bill Pickett, champion bulldogger
  18. John Phillip Holland, submarine builder
  19. Henry Kaslow Burden, M.D., physician
  20. Ota Benga, Pygmy

Five Points Yeggs

  1. Leonard “Humpty” Jackson, hunchbacked crime lord
  2. Bradish Johnson II, crooked industrialist
  3. Harry K. Thaw, millionaire lunatic
  4. Banjo Pete, crazed hillbilly
  5. “Big Josh” Hines, dude
  6. Billy The Kid, Gas House gangster
  7. Bull Hurley, Jackson muscle
  8. Clops Connoly, unclean murderer
  9. Dopey Benny, simpleton
  10. Dorsey Doyle, crooked cop
  11. Eddie Goodie, procurer
  12. Thomas Edison, Junior, not his father’s son
  13. Johnny Dobbs, abortionist
  14. Lefty Louie, hateful cat burglar
  15. Little Julius, frail pickpocket
  16. “Big Jack” Zelig, Jackson lieutenant
  17. Max Shinburn, forger
  18. Mad Mike Lloyd, freelance thug
  19. Piker Ryan, washed-up yegg
  20. Ignazio “Lupo the Wolf” Lupo, blood-drinking nutjob

Bowery Yeggs

  1. Monk Eastman, king of crime
  2. Gyp The Blood, Eastman lieutenant
  3. Walford Bodie, Doctor and electrical charlatan
  4. Owney “the Killer” Madden
  5. “Red Rocks” Ferrell, former outlaw
  6. Whitey Lewis, wharf rat
  7. Sammy Sinn, larcenous midget
  8. “Sad Annie” Reilly, brum-house roper
  9. Biff Ellison, Eastman muscle
  10. Big Rice, housebreaker
  11. Billy Coleman, con roper
  12. Herman Palmer, inside man
  13. John “Molly Matches” Larney, arsonist
  14. Kid Twist, sadistic pervert
  15. Lena Kleinschmidt, sneak-theif
  16. Louie “the Lump” Pioggi
  17. Mary Connoly, jewel thief
  18. Mother Hubbard, queen of fences
  19. Frank Cirofici, the opium gunman
  20. Baboon Connolly, Eastman muscle