Owlbear

Compiled by the Story Games Owlbear Fan Club

Owlbears, perhaps the most enlightened and inclusive culture of red-eyed maniacal predators to grace the planet, embrace a mashup approach to the naming of their chickubs: A combination of the names of a respected grandparent and a close friend, perhaps, or sometimes simply a juxtaposition of the names of their parents. Or maybe you’re supposed to have two genders in your first name and two cultures in your surname. Wait, are they hermaphrodites? Somebody go get the book.

Pan-Gender Owlbear Names

  1. Stevelyn
  2. Leanndrew
  3. Edsue
  4. Jonmarie
  5. Benjosie
  6. Moniquentin
  7. Kristenmark
  8. Katetom
  9. Irvannie
  10. Micharuth
  11. Lizbob
  12. Paulizabeth
  13. Arthursarah
  14. Estherichard
  15. Lilleonard
  16. Jennifred
  17. Erina
  18. Micharity
  19. Christolivia
  20. Debian

Pan-Cultural Owlbear Names

  1. Maksimoto
  2. Qikivan
  3. Bennissur
  4. Siobhanaka
  5. Keikowen
  6. Bernatshilaba
  7. Aishelionor
  8. Narcistevo
  9. Jamallorenc
  10. Osmanicolau
  11. Kuvigukaty
  12. Akuagmaquentin
  13. Bonofacinarkaev
  14. Néidheinhard
  15. Remishtar
  16. Yomadaniel
  17. Jennifatima
  18. Verandrea
  19. Crookaty
  20. Abeberkan

Owlbear Cuisine

  1. Stewbread
  2. Appleroast
  3. Chocosparagus
  4. Lemoncreams
  5. Enchilatte
  6. Livertea
  7. Cakepilaf
  8. Honeysalts
  9. Peppergrapes
  10. Burritopie
  11. Popsiclorn
  12. Steakmilk
  13. Saladbeque
  14. Potatoburger
  15. Pizzamalt
  16. Lambeggs
  17. Berryfries
  18. Chilihaggis
  19. Pastasausage
  20. Ice Cream

Random Things Found in an Owlbear Nest

  1. A wooden beak pick
  2. A honeysalt dispenser
  3. A wheel of steakmilk cheese
  4. A clutch of eggs
  5. Dense pellets of undigested demihuman bone, teeth, and hair
  6. +1 dagger, +3 vs. lycanthropes
  7. Corrective lenses
  8. A molt pile
  9. A flattened, mummified chickub
  10. A parchment map of Whistling Skull cave!
  11. Goblin bladders packed with stewbread
  12. A pinfeather remover
  13. A silver fur comb
  14. A copy of Unisex: The Magazine For Discrete Owlbears
  15. Eye-reddener in a decorative tin
  16. A hidden gas trap!
  17. A jaunty red leather jerkin made from human skin
  18. Claw trimmings
  19. Pecan Sandies
  20. Greasy loose fur stinking of salmon

Random Things Found in Owlbear Pellets

  1. The bones of a dog which had recently eaten the bones of a cat
  2. Perfectly preserved mummy’s hand, bedecked with rings
  3. Cask of Amontillado
  4. Six pounds of carpenter’s nails
  5. AAHH SPIDERS
  6. Sand, just sand
  7. Wooden tiles imprinted with the letters A, B, F, L, O, R and W
  8. Skull of the much rarer “bearowl,” now disputed as a hoax
  9. Bicarbonate of soda
  10. Four badly discolored juggling balls
  11. Nearly complete set of Bronze Age silverware, missing most of a spoon
  12. That’s where my hat went
  13. Three salted pork chops, now perfectly marinated
  14. A troll’s arm, trying to grow a new troll
  15. Egg teeth
  16. Eleven lead sling bullets
  17. One of those bent-nail puzzle thingies
  18. Hairshirt, men’s large
  19. The rest of the Antikythera mechanism
  20. I don’t know, but it’s still moving

Ways Owlbears Spend an Evening

  1. Romantic Evening Eviscerating other Sentients
  2. Playing Baskethockey
  3. Watching Operahorror
  4. Attending Churchbath
  5. Hunting Goblins
  6. Watching Radiovision
  7. Taking the Chickubs to Basesoccer Practice
  8. Tinkering with their Boatcars in the Garagepool
  9. Shopping for Jaunty Red Leather Jerkins
  10. Self-publishing roleplaying sports
  11. Beak Picking
  12. Crying at own flightlessness
  13. Going to Evil Monster Society meetings
  14. Roving the forests for hapless prey
  15. Roving nightclubs for cute boygirls
  16. Arts, Crafts, and Blood Sacrifice
  17. Networking
  18. Browing through Bookmeat Stores
  19. Playing Junta
  20. Posting Endless Jokes About Humans on the Internet